Spatula

"It is a truth maternally acknowledged that many kitchen implements make good teethers, in a pinch" - Me

So there we were, on vacation in the mountains.  It's our last morning, and we're going home after breakfast.  Maeve: Fuss, fuss, fuss.  Me: (exasperated) What? What do you need? What is it? What?  Grandma V: Here kid, chew on this spatula.

Problem solved.