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Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Acorn Falls Pretty Far Sometimes

Well, my Grandmother passed away two nights ago. I don't feel up to writing about her again just yet, so I am going to share a Thanksgiving anecdote with you all.

Yet again, my daughter is not very much like I was as a kid, in so many ways. She inquired of me the other day who had killed our Thanksgiving turkey, and wondered if it had been workers at the grocery store.

I told her, in the broadest terms, that the turkey had been killed at a slaughterhouse, which is a place dedicated to the killing of animals for people to eat. She nodded thoughtfully, then asked me, Are the organs included in the turkey?

I told her that yes, they often are, and that if she wanted to, she could dissect the ones that came in our turkey.

Because that's my kid. I would have cried if someone had explained slaughterhouses to me at age four, and probably never eaten meat again. But Maeve is excited about dissecting turkey organs. I guess the acorn falls pretty far from the tree sometimes.


Monday, November 24, 2014

Ten Hilarious Grandma Stories

Hi all, my grandmother has become unresponsive, and is finally on her way to passing from this life. She took her sweet time, like she did with everything else in her life, and to remember her, I wanted to share today ten hilarious anecdotes about my grandmother.

1. Grandma was such a dedicated Democrat, she used to watch the Republican National Conventions when they were televised, "just to see what they're up to."

2. When my mom and her sister were kids, they woke up one night to see Grandma standing over their bed with a broom held over her head. There was a bat in their room and she hadn't wanted to wake them...

3. My grandma also had a way with wildlife. A moose once blocked her path on a highway in Idaho, and she got out of the car to shoo it away. It eventually did move!

4. Grandma always came to my rescue. Once my car broke down at a light on West Colfax, and she stood in front of my car directing traffic with her purse until we could get it moved out of the way.

5. Grandma went exponentially slower, the more she felt rushed. It's possible she didn't even know she was doing it, but she had the power to make everyone very late and she occasionally exercised it.

6. She thought Barack Obama was very attractive; we sent her a postcard from Washington DC with him smiling on it and she kept it propped on her coffee table for quite awhile.

7. She didn't back down from stating her opinion to anyone. Ever. She mentioned to me once she didn't know why I was so fat since I was always chasing Maeve. I laughed it off because only my grandma could get away with saying something like that to me!

8. She probably, before she left awareness behind, mostly forgave me for voting for Nader one time. But she did believe I was the reason Bush got elected for a second term.

9. Despite her ailing teeth, she could make any food crunchy. We always swore Grandma could crunch on soup.

10. She managed to never murder my late grandfather, despite his occasional lapse in tact. He once asked her, upon tasting a seasonal, difficult-to-make meat pie, if she had considered putting salt in it at all? And yet he survived the experience.

I have many sweeter memories of my grandmother, but today I wanted to remember her funny side. Thanks for listening.

With my grandfather, Dan

With my uncle, aunt, and mother. My mom is on the left.

With my aunt and my grandfather on a trip.

From left to right, my aunt, my grandmother, my mom, my brother, my grandfather, and me.

Holding Maeve in 2010

She was so overjoyed!
Being silly, right before she became bedridden.



Friday, November 21, 2014

Distinguished Graduate Dog

If you've been over to my house in the last six months, you know about the trials and tribulations we've had with Patches, our puppy. Yes, he's adorable, yes, he's smart and high-spirited, but he is also pure puppy. There is no item in our house he hasn't tried to gnaw on or consume, he jumps, he barks, he is a professional sock transporter.

But last night, he graduated from his first basic obedience class. That's right, if you wave a treat in front of him, he will now sit, lie down, "leave it", stay, and possibly offer you a paw. Ask him to sit without bologna in your hand, and you have a fifty-fifty chance he will do it.

I think the best part of these classes for Patches was learning to focus around other dogs. Mo-mo and Skitz, a Golden Retriever teenager and a Puggle, were quite the distraction for him, and he's not very used to being around other dogs. Also I've been trying to get him out to the dog park when it's not 15 degrees out, and he loves that interaction.

Anyway, he managed to pull it off. Congratulations, Patches, on your (and my) achievement. I will now take my Thursday nights back to myself!

Looking most distinguished

Mom: Why?

GET IT OFF!

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Worried About a Friend

It's hard for me to write about, it's hard for me to even think about, but the amazing, powerful, victorious head of Get Born is really sick. Really, really sick right now.

There are so many things I don't understand about cancer but the biggest thing is why? Heather L has had breast cancer for as long as I've known her, which is almost four years now. She has gone through so many cycles of suffering with different treatments, and so many additional illnesses that have made the cancer treatments even more unbearable.

And despite a totally yucky divorce situation, she has retained the bright beauty of her daughters, who make all her struggles totally worth it. Heather also possesses a totally fierce tribe of women friends who basically parade through her life bringing meals, rides, company, massages, laughter, cleaning services, and healing touch.

I don't know how Heather does it, how she finds the silver lining even when things are so desperate, but I do know that when the time comes for me to fight for my life, I really hope to have a tribe half as fierce and half as generous as Heather's.

So today I'm holding Heather in my heart, hoping for better treatment options and light at the end of the tunnel. Because she has been in this terrible tunnel for much too long.

Some of the Get Born bloggers and Heather at a feminist blogger's discussion

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Bad Vertigo Day

Yesterday around 2pm I started getting that awful, whooshy feeling in my head. My environment started rotating around me in a most disconcerting way, and I was forced to keep my head as still as possible.

It's pretty hard to explain that to a four year old, but I did my best. Maeve sweetly guided me around the house, holding my hand to help me stay steady, and made me stick a big popsicle stick in my mouth to prove I was sick. That seemed to do it for her. She was a big help, running to get things for me or turn lights on, etc. But I was stuck on the couch, basically, from two to six.

Luckily, Daddy sent the okay for us to get pizza delivered, so Maeve and I just hunkered down and watched both Despicable Me dvds, then Ice Age, and had some pizza. I even managed to give her a bath, while resting my head on my bed most of the time. All in all, I pretty much totally rocked that vertigo spell, and I'm proud of myself.

Thankfully it wore off about 80% after I put Maeve to bed, and I got pretty decent sleep and feel well this morning. I shall knock vigorously on wood and hope it does not return!