Friday, October 29, 2010


"It's a huge change for your body. You don't even want to look in the mirror after you've had a baby, because your stomach is just hanging there like a Shar-Pei. " - Cindy Crawford

Cindy, thanks for the honesty.  I'm sure your stomach didn't look like that for more than two weeks postpartum, but thanks for saying it.

My little adorable Shar-Pei tummy is not going anywhere.  Some days I am okay with this, some days I am not.  I realized this morning that I'm a little jealous of Maeve, who just sees another cute baby in the mirror when we pass by, and gives that other baby a big, beaming smile.  When was the last time you grinned at yourself in a mirror?  For me, probably not since I thought my reflection was another baby.

We're having a friend take some family pictures for us tomorrow, and my stomach sank last night in bed while I was trying to think of "hide my tummy" poses. The only bright spot for me is that Maeve is bound to be so radiant that no one will notice my shape.

I wish sometimes that I could just get my brain culturally deprogrammed by professionals, so it wouldn't always be agreeing with those dumb internet ads that keep telling me how to lose that "ugly belly fat".  I would like to get my brain to be on the same team as the rest of me, to be kind to me, and not slink over to the other team and tell them my weak spots.  But how long can you see phrases like "ugly belly fat" and not start to think of yourself as ugly?  I shudder to think what ads Google is going to put on my blog today...

In my best moments, miles from a mirror, I can believe myself a great beauty.  But as soon as we pass one, and I grin at Maeve, trying to get her to see herself as herself, I wish I could get me to do the same.  I'm no Cindy Crawford, I'm Me, and I look like myself.  C'mon, brain, let that be enough.


  1. I think you are beautiful and you are a fantastic mother. *hugs*

  2. Thx Farrah :) I know all my posts sound really depressed this week, but I think I'm just actually doing well enough with Maeve that I have time to think about these things. I'm not really depressed, just feeling pensive.

  3. Our brains really are our own worst enemy, aren't they? I think you are one radiant momma.

  4. It's funny - all the loveliness we can see in our children, and in other moms (like what I see in your joyful smile) but we never cast those kind eyes on ourselves! Thank you for sharing an honest, thoughtful post.

  5. When I look in the mirror I pretty much think I have it goin' on. But when I see pictures I think, "Say, who is that cute chunky gal?" And it's me...And I'm fighting my age. At 34 I can still drop it like it's hot. It's picking it back up that's getting a little harder.

  6. lol @Kara - that must be my problem, too. Or just remembering what "it" is after I leave the room and come back...