Escape

"Every life is narrow. Our only escape is not to run away, but to learn to love the people we are and the world in which we find ourselves. " -Mark Haddon

Every parent - especially a stay-at-home parent - knows what I'm talking about when I use the word escape.  There has to be some place, some quiet little space in your world that isn't dominated by the mercurial whims and fears of a child.  There's the peace after bedtime or before the morning awakenings, but something is needed beyond those brief moments.

My escape this year has been choir; every Tuesday night I go sing challenging music with smart, funny, kind women, and although the exercise leaves me exhausted, I have loved it.  Our final concerts of the season happen this weekend, and I'm anticipating the rush of singing a song beautifully with 15 other women and knowing it sounds amazing - in front of 50 people or so.

But choir has drained me so much this season, and as our choir gains reputation, it performs more and more often, harder and longer pieces, and I just don't have it in me anymore, so I'll be done singing after this season, at least for now.  Mandatory weekly rehearsals aren't a good match for having that mercurial and unpredictable kiddo.

I plan on finding a new escape - a girls' night out with a good friend a few times a month is my idea right now.  She and I both can use the company, and we've been missing each other.  But I never really run away from my life, I wouldn't want to escape being a mommy.  It may be narrow indeed, but like a canyon, it goes down for miles, with so much to discover: cool, quiet places as well as roaring rapids.

One quiet place :)