Today I just want to share a brief thought about raising daughters. I know I have already written quite a bit about 'pretty' and about raising my daughter to understand that being attractive is one of many charms about being a woman but is not the core of the thing. Today is about words.
Maeve is playing dress-up almost every day - slinging her purse over her shoulder, throwing on a necklace and a feather boa, and carrying a dolly around. She obviously aims to be admired, so in our house we try to use "fancy" to praise her fabulous fashion sense. As in, "Oh, honey, you look so fancy!"
I use fancy instead of pretty because she already is pretty, beautiful, dazzling, and otherwise astonishingly gorgeous. A few (or many) well-chosen accessories do not affect her personal radiance, and I want her to know that.
It seems like a small, stupid thing to worry about, but when you are the parent of a daughter, cultural norms kind of weigh on your heart like an elephant that had too much for lunch. And words carry so much power, especially in the ears of a little girl who will repeat them to herself in her heart for years to come. I hope I'm doing this right.
 |
| Just a necklace for our walk |
I'm so glad you said it! I've been trying so hard to compliment Audrey on other things besides her looks. I've avoided the "princess" stereotypes because I want her to value herself and work hard, not feel like she's delicate and royal, and deserves a crown! I love it that way! I will certainly be using the word fancy!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Joy! Yeah, we've avoided all clothes with the word princess (not an easy task for baby girls) and all Disney princess paraphernalia so far. I know it won't last forever, but we'll hold out as long as we can!
ReplyDelete