Tired of her Temper

“When I lose my temper, honey, you can't find it any place.” ― Ava Gardner

Every day around 4 pm it's the same thing.  Four is the witching hour at our house, the time Maeve knows is just before when we go to pick up Daddy, the time just before dinner, and it never fails to bring out the worst in her behavior.

And the worst usually means the more violent side.  We are struggling every day with biting, kicking, and hitting.  When she gets angry, especially at this time of day, I hear a lot of this: I just want to bite everything! I just want to hit everything!  I want to hit you, Mom!

And so, like clockwork, any actual hitting/biting/kicking results in insta-timeout.  And tears.  And apologies and hugs.  Followed quickly by more kicking anytime she doesn't get her way.  I feel like it's just not sinking in that these things are not okay.  When I try to explain that hitting hurts people, she looks at me, puzzled, and says, it doesn't hurt ME, and I WANT to hit!  Like, how could it possibly hurt you if it doesn't hurt me, and how dare you prevent me from doing something I want to do!?!?!

It's frustrating, because I've just begun to see actual empathy emerge in the child, like, she'll get upset if I'm crying, or ask me what's wrong if I sound frustrated about something.  But in the heat of her angry moments, she doesn't have a shred of empathy or thought for others.  And her temper, even just in the late afternoon, is powerful and unavoidable.

So today I'm trying something new, and adding a chore magnet to her list that says I didn't hit, kick, or bite today!  Sometimes rewarding the positive behavior is an added incentive.  Not only are you in trouble if you do these behaviors, you get a smiley face if you don't!  You never know.  Something has to help, or this is just a phase she'll grow out of.  But whatever it is, I really don't like it, and I want my sweet girl back.

                                                      Yeah, we tried this one, too.