Monday, November 24, 2014

Ten Hilarious Grandma Stories

Hi all, my grandmother has become unresponsive, and is finally on her way to passing from this life. She took her sweet time, like she did with everything else in her life, and to remember her, I wanted to share today ten hilarious anecdotes about my grandmother.

1. Grandma was such a dedicated Democrat, she used to watch the Republican National Conventions when they were televised, "just to see what they're up to."

2. When my mom and her sister were kids, they woke up one night to see Grandma standing over their bed with a broom held over her head. There was a bat in their room and she hadn't wanted to wake them...

3. My grandma also had a way with wildlife. A moose once blocked her path on a highway in Idaho, and she got out of the car to shoo it away. It eventually did move!

4. Grandma always came to my rescue. Once my car broke down at a light on West Colfax, and she stood in front of my car directing traffic with her purse until we could get it moved out of the way.

5. Grandma went exponentially slower, the more she felt rushed. It's possible she didn't even know she was doing it, but she had the power to make everyone very late and she occasionally exercised it.

6. She thought Barack Obama was very attractive; we sent her a postcard from Washington DC with him smiling on it and she kept it propped on her coffee table for quite awhile.

7. She didn't back down from stating her opinion to anyone. Ever. She mentioned to me once she didn't know why I was so fat since I was always chasing Maeve. I laughed it off because only my grandma could get away with saying something like that to me!

8. She probably, before she left awareness behind, mostly forgave me for voting for Nader one time. But she did believe I was the reason Bush got elected for a second term.

9. Despite her ailing teeth, she could make any food crunchy. We always swore Grandma could crunch on soup.

10. She managed to never murder my late grandfather, despite his occasional lapse in tact. He once asked her, upon tasting a seasonal, difficult-to-make meat pie, if she had considered putting salt in it at all? And yet he survived the experience.

I have many sweeter memories of my grandmother, but today I wanted to remember her funny side. Thanks for listening.

With my grandfather, Dan

With my uncle, aunt, and mother. My mom is on the left.

With my aunt and my grandfather on a trip.

From left to right, my aunt, my grandmother, my mom, my brother, my grandfather, and me.

Holding Maeve in 2010

She was so overjoyed!
Being silly, right before she became bedridden.

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