Anyone who has ever had a toddler knows the importance of "helping". And they know why the helping is in quotation marks.
Toddlers love to help, it is a powerful motivator for them, at least for a minute or two. Let's say, not as powerful as candy, but stronger than plain old praise. And so we parents exploit it to its fullest potential.
I use "help" in two ways; one is to encourage a behavior I am not seeing. Maeve is utterly dreadful at having her diaper changed, she thrashes and cries and generally acts as if I'm trying to remove her appendix with blunt instruments five times a day. So I say, "Are you going to be my diaper helper?" to which she usually replies "Help". And any little break in the screaming or thrashing constitutes help, so I thank her profusely for being such a good helper. Sometimes she gets to hold the cream or the diaper, which we will also call help.
The other use for "help" is when a child obviously wants to do something with you, to participate in what you are doing, so you allow them some real or perceived way to "help" with whatever it is you're doing. Now Maeve has, in actual fact, helped me by picking things up off the ground for me, or closing doors, or putting objects where they belong. Like maybe once a week or so. But oh boy, does she love to help!
I do love that she wants to help, that she wants to do what I'm doing and be useful, because Lord knows that desire doesn't always stick around in a child after a few years. So I do my best to take things slow, to let her do what she can without growing impatient or being upset by the results.
Today I am making zucchini muffins for my grandmother, and I think I may let Maeve help.
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We've found "help" to be a wonderful motivator to get the kids to do something they might not otherwise be interested in doing. Great technique for giving them some ownership and us the results we're hoping for. :)
ReplyDeleteSusannah has her "helping chair" in the kitchen- just a chair with a back that I pull up to the counter for her when I am working on dinner, etc. I try to give her something to stir, or something to "cut" (with her Ikea plastic knife) while I am cooking or baking. She even gets her own little cutting board.
ReplyDeleteHer favourite "helping" I think was when I was making pies, and we cut the leftover pie dough into "cookies". She loved watching me roll out the dough, and enjoyed pushing the cookie cutter into the dough.