Mom Persona

"Enthusiasm is one of the most powerful engines of success. When you do a thing, do it with all your might. Put your whole soul into it. Stamp it with your own personality. Be active, be energetic, be enthusiastic and faithful, and you will accomplish your object." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

I think somehow I thought I was just going to take on a different persona after Maeve was born.  That I'd stop being just Clara, and start being Maeve's Momma.  An end and a beginning.

And in a way it was, but it turns out that becoming a mom doesn't really stop a person from being herself.  As it turns out, I'm just a Mom version of myself.  So, most things about me are the same, I just say no a lot.  Ahem.

But today as I was getting dressed, donning my Shakespeare shirt (it has all the play titles on it, and the famous portrait of Himself) and putting in my pigtails, it occurred to me that I am myself, and a mom.  This is me.  Maeve will see pictures of me in my Shakespeare shirt and pigtails, and hopefully grin and say "Yup, that's my mom all right".  She won't have some misguided notion that before I had her I was some kind of platinum beauty with a trail of suitors and broken hearts behind me.  She won't imagine I used to be a prizewinning chemist or dog breeder or horse racer.  She will have seen me, just me, sticking out all over the place like a porcupine in a wicker basket.

Once she gets over being embarrassed of me (and for me), she will remember that she likes me.  Kind of like I do for myself, once I get over my initial embarrassment for my own shortcomings and lackluster qualities.  I think liking myself is one of the best things I can do for Maeve, so today I will just embrace me, my Mom me, and remember that she will smile at those pictures.  Eventually.