Since Husband takes these trips several times a year, I have found myself adjusting to life as a temporarily solo parent. I know that real single parents face much more difficult obstacles, doing this job solo all the time, but I feel like I get a little taste of what single parenting is like.
And it is so darned hard. There is so much that gets taken care of by Husband when he's here, but more than that, there are so many times he walks me back away from the Cliffs of Insanity, when he hears that certain tone in my voice. Every now and then he takes a good look at me and sends me to Target for the evening, and you know he's really willing to sacrifice however much I end up spending on a night like that.
It's so easy to really lose your mind when you do this alone. There is no one to witness the crazy things your kid says or does, and that alone can make a parent feel a little crazy. Maeve has been running around all week quoting random passages from our Goodnight Moon dvd, which was an HBO special that included kid interviews about dreams and sleep, and she keeps quoting this one section where the kid says his dead grandma visits him in his dreams. She'll be sitting in a room alone and I hear her saying, "She never dies in my dreams." I keep telling her that is CREEPY and she needs to cut it out, but now that she knows it gets a rise out of me, it's in heavy rotation.
Anyway, all that to say, I have tons of respect and admiration for parents who do this gig alone for long stretches of time, whether permanent or temporary, it is no pleasure cruise. To say I am looking forward to this stretch being over tomorrow is a huge understatement. But you know what? It's tough and crazy, but darn it all, I can do it. I'm stronger and more able than I think I am.