Here's the truth: when you decide you want to get better at something, life gives you lots of opportunities to practice and improve.
I decided I wanted to be more patient with Maeve, and somehow the Universe arranged for me to take an introductory class in patience. So Daddy is going out of town this week on Thursday and Friday, and all week, Maeve has been offering me chances to be a better mom, i.e., she is super annoyed with me all the time and wishes I would leave her alone. Except when she wants to be on my lap, which accounts for one third of her day.
Anyway. Day one after I wrote my big thinky blog about how I can still learn better mom skills was the worst. If you want reality to jump on you with both feet, write a blog about how capable you feel, ha ha. Maeve pushed every button I had and a few I didn't know about, and I was an amazing, breezy, patient mother until 4 pm when I lost it and yelled again.
But really, I made it almost all day, and although on Monday, I cried because I felt like a failure, I realize in retrospect that I did amazingly well with only one mistake, which is not so bad after all. And when I lost my temper, it was in reaction to her hurting me physically, which is the hardest kind of reaction to control.
Now I am a little less stressed about whether I fail or succeed, I'm just making every day another effort in doing better. I'm bound to make mistakes along the way, but I still think I can do this.
|Just like Maeve is learning to pump her legs on the swing.|