"My heart is ever at your service." - William Shakespeare, Timon of Athens
This morning I am very tired, more so than usual. My darling Maeve had a ouchy-tooth evening, followed by a night of restless sleep. And every Momma knows, when the baby's crabby and restless, so are you.
While I was trying for the second time to sooth Maeve to sleep, I was thinking about the paradox of convenience. In short, a baby is the most inconvenient intrusion into an adult's life, but babies require everything else in an adult's life to be reduced to their simplest, most convenient form.
When I say babies are inconvenient, I by no means am indicating they are unwelcome. I just mean that for going about the normal business of having friends, a spouse, eating, sleeping, keeping a house clean, driving a car, or otherwise doing what one would normally do, having an infant makes these tasks in the range of much harder to impossible. I am becoming so proficient at doing things merely with my left hand, you'd be amazed. (Unless you're also a mom, then you'd be like, "Oh yeah, watch what I can do with just my left toe!" And I'd be stunned.) For example, typing with just my left hand means typing this blog usually takes me on the order of 20 minutes. To write 3-4 paragraphs. Really.
But everything in my life has become so simple, so utterly convenient. I don't even have to brush my hair with this new haircut; 2 barrettes and I'm done. My lunch microwaves in a minute and can be eaten lukewarm, and with my fingers. When I go out, I run one errand, not six. I keep a basket of useful baby stuff - pacifiers, teething tabs, washcloths, extra bibs, rattles, etc. next to me on the couch. I am never without a diaper.
But most importantly, my time belongs to my daughter. I interrupted writing this blog for a half an hour for diaper change/pumping/bottle time. I am never doing something so important (even sleeping) that I won't stop in my tracks to fill her empty tummy, clean her dirty bum, or cuddle her. Convenient it is not, but the rewarding, oh yes.