Thursday, November 4, 2010


"I just want to be with you every day" - Andy's mom, Toy Story 3

Thaaaaaanks a lot, Toy Story 3.  I wasn't even thinking of the day Maeve will leave home and go to college.  It hadn't even crossed my mind.  Now this moment has entered my psyche, and I'm stuck with it. 

After the movie last night, I was giving Maeve a bath.  She gave me that giddy, gleeful look that says, "Am I really allowed to do this?  Seems too fun, it must be naughty!" and I almost started crying all over again.  All the parents I know say it all goes by so fast, that before I know it she'll be a teenager and I'll be wishing she was a baby again.  These were the same people who I didn't believe when they said having a newborn goes really fast, and it turned out they were right; but even so, I'm tempted not to believe them again.

How can it go quickly?  That's 18 years from now that she'll be gone for college. 18 years ago, I was twelve, which seems an Ice Age ago.  And I'm fine with that, nothing on earth could compel me to be twelve again.  And by the time she's moving out of the house, I'll be 48!  Almost 50!  Time can't go by that quickly, I'm only just going to turn 30 this December.  This is what I told myself when I was falling asleep last night.  It sort of worked.

I know that leaving for college was one of the hardest things I did when I was eighteen.  It took all the courage I had to pack my things and move an hour away from my parents to go live with three strangers with whom I never did get along.  Of course, I found friends there, and grew up, and managed to get an education, too.  But my first week on campus I got a traffic ticket and tore the toenail off my toe, and spent a lot of time crying and wishing my mom was there.  But I hadn't thought about how hard it was for my mom when I left.

Maevie, honey, stay here with me and your dad.  Hang out with us for just awhile before you breeze off into the wild blue yonder.  We have a very precious eighteen years to spend, and I want to spend it just one minute at a time, with you.

Sacked-out flower baby

1 comment:

  1. You can add me as one of those people who says "it goes by so fast!" My oldest goes into high school next year. However, right now I feel excited about his future, and dreaming about what my husband and I can do when our kids get older. That said, I am the mother who bawls her eyes out when nobody is looking.