Monday, November 23, 2015

Shifting Orbit

Now that Maeve is in school, our relationship is... changing.

See, when she first got here, I was her whole world. Daddy was kind of okay, but I was the Earth her Moon-self orbited. No one else came close.

When she was a toddler, she discovered the wonder of Daddy. This guy could really put in some serious time playing and being silly, when Mommy was exhausted from being orbited all day. And Daddy became the one she longed for all day, the one she wanted to sit next to, the one she preferred for entertainment. And I was massively okay with that, because I was tired.

This had remained pretty much steady until this year starting school. Now I'm not just the rule-maker, schedule-setter, playdate-provider anymore, I'm the one she comes home to. The one she wants to sit next to and have special time with. She still gets excited for Daddy time, but will actually be sad if I'm not there to sing to her at bedtime. I haven't become the Earth to her Moon again and probably never will, but she misses me when I'm gone. She wants me, too.

And when her hand reaches up to hold mine, just because, I try not to clutch at it too tightly, but my heart wants to. Because I love that feeling and I'm always afraid of losing it.

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