“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” ― H. Jackson Brown Jr., P.S. I Love You
I just couldn't write yesterday morning. I tried a few ideas, but I got stuck.
Because the biggest thing in my life right now is the children's resale small business where I work is closing its doors at the end of February, and I was so sad about that yesterday morning that I had nothing else in my head. And yesterday I couldn't blog about it yet because my friend and boss had not gone public with the information, so I waited.
You may remember when I started there last April; I wrote about it here and here. I am not exaggerating when I say working there was the best job I had ever had. That working there was part of my life goals, once I discovered it, and the store itself was one of my favorite places to be, period.
I don't know what I'll say to my daughter when we close our doors for good at the end of next month. I know it will take her some time to process that her one of her favorite places to play is gone for good. I know she and I will mourn together, will take our time saying goodbye to the place. And we can go to storytime at the library, and participate in some of their other activities for kiddos, but it really won't be the same.
When I work at small businesses, and I have worked at four, now, I become a part of someone's dream. And small businesses are so darned hard to run profitably, it's insane. And three times, now the small business I've been working for has gone under while I worked there. Some people might consider that bad luck, I suppose, but I know different. Dreams, big dreams, are just hard to sustain, even when lots of people believe in them with you. It takes an awful lot of hot air to keep a balloon afloat, a balloon made of nothing but the lightest silk, like gossamer. And so it is with dreams, especially those in the shape of a small business.
But it is my fondest hope, not to find another place like my store, because there isn't one, but to find another balloon and help it float, if I can. For as long as I can.